Water and Sewer Secretary? Has it come to this?

Yes, lil chirren, it has.
Tomorrow I will fill out an application to be a district water and sewer secretary. This doesn't mean I'll have to get wet and wade in shit (and I asked them that, believe me!). This means I'll shuffle papers and organize mindnumbingly boring "projects" for low pay.
I once wanted to be a published author. I had dreams. Now, look what my life has come to! I wish I could think of something funny.
My illspent youth was spent illly working for the public school system. I was cussed out by third graders whose parents were more concerned with procuring new SUVs than raising decent children. I used to joke that the little hellions didn't have attention -deficit disorder, they had ass-whipping deficit disorder. I grew tired of it. I left.
And finally landed here, jobless. I may not even *get* to be the sewer secretary. They may find someone with better qualifications. I've sunken low, my frenemies, low.