Friday, April 10, 2009

Water and Sewer Secretary? Has it come to this?

Yes, lil chirren, it has.
Tomorrow I will fill out an application to be a district water and sewer secretary. This doesn't mean I'll have to get wet and wade in shit (and I asked them that, believe me!). This means I'll shuffle papers and organize mindnumbingly boring "projects" for low pay.
I once wanted to be a published author. I had dreams. Now, look what my life has come to! I wish I could think of something funny.
My illspent youth was spent illly working for the public school system. I was cussed out by third graders whose parents were more concerned with procuring new SUVs than raising decent children. I used to joke that the little hellions didn't have attention -deficit disorder, they had ass-whipping deficit disorder. I grew tired of it. I left.
And finally landed here, jobless. I may not even *get* to be the sewer secretary. They may find someone with better qualifications. I've sunken low, my frenemies, low.


  1. Actually it sounds like an awesome title to have as an employee... think "Don't mess with me, I am the water and sewer secretary"... really, it implies you have power over all our toilets and we better not piss you off!

  2. Thank you for making me feel better, Blair! :)
    If I get the job, I will wear a button that says, "Fuck with me, and I'll have your shitter blown to bits!"

  3. '09 is jobless. Fuck this year.